To think of my task is chilling. 

To know I was carefully building the mask 

I was wearing for two years, 

swearing I'd tear it off. 

I've sat in the dark explaining to myself 

that I'm straining too hard for feelings 

I ought to find easily. 

Called myself Jezebel. I don't believe. 

Before I say that the vows we made 

weigh like a stone in my heart. 

Family is family, 

don't let this tear us apart. 

You lie there, an innocent baby. 

I feel like the thief 

who is raiding your home, 

entering and breaking 

and taking in every room. 

I know your feelings are tender 

and that inside you the embers still glow. 

But I'm a shadow, 

I'm only a bed of blackened coal. 

Call myself Jezebel for wanting to leave. 

I'm not saying I'm replacing love 

for some other word to describe the sacred tie 

that bound me to you. 

I'm just saying we've mistaken one 

for thousands of words. 

And for that mistake, 

I've caused you such pain 

that I damn that word. 

I've no more ways to hide 

that I'm a desolate and empty, 

hollow place inside. 

I'm not saying I'm replacing love 

for some other word to describe 

the sacred tie that bound me to you. 

I'm not saying love's a plaything. 

No, it's a powerful word, 

inspired by strong desire 

to bind myself to you. 

How I wish that we never had tried 

to be man and his wife, 

to weave our lives into a blindfold 

over both our eyes.







    



Eager to please was just the way that he was 

though his attempts there falling short, 

expectation 

see he would tell of all his conquests, 

was he bragging? 

but in the evening all alone 

Ellen unplanned delays 

saving for someone who really cared about you 

invincible they say 

married to your name 

she was the kind between a child and a lady, 

quick was her temper 

like a blaez from an ember 

no one had measured to her standard, 

so in the evening all alone all alone 

how do I tell them to open their minds 

and to take a chance 

maybe on finding life’s treasure stubborn they stay set 

in their ways really not wanting to be lonely not alone.